living from the inside out

for being as small as it is, "Let Your Life Speak" (by Parker J. Palmer) has spoken volumes to me this past month. it has seriously been some kind of breakthrough for me. he speaks a lot on living an authentic, whole life--one which is true to self, not contrived. allow me to highlight a few of the quotes that i have since been pondering:

"As noble as it may sound, we do not find our callings by conforming ourselves to some abstract moral code. We find our callings by claiming authentic selfhood, by being who we are, by dwelling in the world as [me] rather than straining to be [someone else]... As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks -- we will also find our path of authentic service to the world." pg 15,16

authenticy. this is what i desire. and it is often the hardships of life moreso than the pleasurable times, the experience of our limits often moreso than the pursuit of our potentials, that truly strip us down and bring us to the place where our true self can emerge. the book talks a lot about this. it was so refreshing and encouraging to hear someone say these things the way he does so eloquently--i think christians (including myself) are not always too good at being really real about the crappy parts of life. i'm just so ready to hear someone say it like it is, and Palmer is able to do so in a way that not only validates those experiences but also points them out as a necessary part of the whole.

i am also growing more and more keenly aware of how my being an authentic person is key in raising up my children. so much of parenting is modeling and discipling, and i cannot give them something which i do not possess:

"When I give something I do not possess, I give a false and dangerous gift, a gift that looks like love but is, in reality, loveless -- a gift given more from my need to prove myself than from the other's need to be cared for." pg 48

and here is another quote that really spoke to me personally, helping to bring clarity in some areas of my life:

"I had been driven more by the 'oughts'... than by a sense of true self. Lacking insight into my own limits and potentials, I had allowed ego and ethics to lead me into a situation that my soul could not abide." pg 22

just a few snippets. i would highly recommend this book, especially if you find yourself in a difficult season of life. i am on to another of his. :)